


Fault & Blame

by kroas_adtam



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: im here to ruin your day, proceed at your own risk, sad shit, yall gonna cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 17:11:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18899038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kroas_adtam/pseuds/kroas_adtam
Summary: It's been a year.tw: suicide attempt





	Fault & Blame

The doctors weren’t sure the young man by the bedside had moved. If it weren’t for the partially eaten food, they would have thought he might’ve turned to stone. They knew his name was Josh, they knew he knew the young man lying in the bed before him. And they knew that if they tried to tell him visiting hours were over, he’d ignore them and security, if called. It was a year since they had arrived. Josh had watched his friend in the bed code, be tested, and sleep, for a year, unlikely to ever wake up.

And yet, Josh never moved.

The young nurse watched from the window that viewed into the room. Some intern doctors were watching too. It was nothing but a sad view, they weren’t curious anymore; curiosity had quickly turned to sorrow and empathetic pain for the two young men in the room. Older doctors were hardened by time, they passed the room without stopping, but they would all still look in as they went. It seemed the whole hospital staff knew these two. Josh was on first name basis with nearly everyone at this point, though he rarely spoke. He would watch in silent concern as physical therapists would come in to work on the young man in the bed. He would stand in the corner and force himself to observe blood and fluids the doctors would pull for tests. And everytime, he would return to the chair at the side of the bed.

Josh sat there, leaned forward, elbows on knees, hands clasped together and pressed against his mouth. His hazel eyes only ever leaving the other’s face to glance at monitors if something caught his eye. One night nurse claimed vehemently that she had heard Josh telling stories and singing to the boy into the wee hours of the morning, even though none of the other nurses had ever seen Josh do such a thing. Doctors and nurses started keeping tabs on Josh too, visiting more often to note Josh’s own health. They were making sure he was eating and sleeping. The nurses all agreed if they didn’t, he’d probably starve to death without noticing. But the only time Josh would sleep is when another family member was taking his place in the chair, so he could pass out on the couch.

Today, the one year anniversary, Josh was looking at the monitor more and more, acting more fidgety, leaning in to study his friend’s face more closely. A nurse in the window was going to turn away, unable to stand the painful view much more, when he noticed Josh’s mouth moving almost indiscernibly. The nurse, Mike, quietly moved to the door frame to see if he could hear.

“Ty… it’s been a year…” Josh reached out and took Tyler’s soft, limp hand. “Now…” Mike, looked down at the floor, but didn’t leave the doorway as he heard Josh’s voice catch and shake. “N-now would be a good time to come back…” Josh held Tyler’s hand in both of his, pressing his cheek to the back of it, letting Tyler’s warm skin feel his hot, tear streaked cheeks. “Come back, Tyler… please, please come back…” Josh closed his eyes, shoulder shaking, repeating, “come back, please, Tyler…” over and over into Tyler’s soft skin. 

A year had taken away all traces of calluses from Tyler’s instruments, Josh knew if Tyler woke up, he’d be pissed that he’d have to re-toughen his hands. The thought of Tyler’s reaction brought a small, broken smile to Josh’s tear-stained face. He turned over Tyler’s hand to look at his palms, his fingers tracing the lines, trailing down his wrists, shaking as they feather-touched the still vibrant pink, fresh long scars that had put Tyler in this hospital bed. Josh looked up from the scars to Tyler’s face, his eyebrows pulling together.

“They told me that you wouldn’t be in a coma from these… They told me you were still alive in there and that you’d come back with in hours, at most a few days…” Josh felt his chin quiver as fresh tears burned his eyes. “Why did you make them lie to me? Why… why won’t you come back? Come…. Come back… to me…”

Mike turned and walked to the nurses station, shaking and crying, feeling helpless and useless. He had been there when Tyler came in, he had been the one to tell Josh that Tyler should come out of unconsciousness within a few days… And yet, here they were still, a year later, and no Tyler.

Josh looked down at Tyler’s hand again, tracing the three thin tattoos that wrapped around Tyler’s wrist. They used to be perfect, now they were ruined by the scar. “Do you remember… Do you remember us writing  _ Trench _ ? When you wrote  _ Neon Gravestones _ , I thought…” He swallowed hard. “I-I thought you were doing okay… I know we don’t… d-didn’t talk that much about that subject anymore… I mean… You were busy with Jenna and…” He looked back at Tyler’s face before he brought Tyler’s hand to his face again, pressing his forehead into Tyler’s palm, his entire body shaking. “I-I’m so sorry, I-I should have known-- I-I should have tried h-harder…”

Josh blamed himself entirely for Tyler being in the bed, unable to wake up. He told himself...since Tyler almost died alone, he wouldn’t wake up alone. Josh stood suddenly, dropping Tyler’s hand and leaning close to his ear.

“Tyler, I need to you wake up, I need you to follow me, I won’t stop until you come back.” Josh placed a hand on Tyler’s cheek. “Tyler, I’m here, I will never leave you alone ever again. Tyler.” He let a pause pass, listening to Tyler's monitor for any change. “Tyler. Come home.” Pause.  _ Beep.  _ “Tyler.” Pause.  _ Beep. _ “Tyler, come home. I’m here.” Pause.  _ Beep. _

“Josh?” asked a gentle voice.

Josh ignored him. “Tyler.” Pause.  _ Beep. _ “Please, Ty… come home.” Josh could feel the lump in his throat threatening to asphyxiate him. “Tyler, please.” Pause.  _ Beep. _

“Josh… come on, you need to rest…” Mike came in with fresh blankets and a new pillow for Josh’s little bed on the couch. “C’mon, get some sleep, we’ve got to give him his bath anyway.”

“Tyler.” Josh whispered, not moving. “Tyler, I need you.” Pause.  _ Beep. _

“Josh… “ Mike put a hand on Josh’s shoulder. “Just a few hours.”

“No.” Josh said, not moving from Tyler. “I need him to hear me.”

Mike sighed softly, took Josh’s old sheets and set down the new ones, quietly closing the door behind him as he left. 

“Tyler.” Pause.  _ Beep. _

Josh closed his eyes, willing , hoping, anything, that he could sent his thoughts into Tyler’s brain.

“Tyler…” He whispered, tears now dripping onto Tylers cheek and ear. “Tyler, please…” Pause.  _ Beep. _ “Tyler… I love you.” Josh sobbed out, desperate for Tyler to hear him.

Pause.

_Beep. Beep-Beep._ _Chirp-Beep_.

Josh’s head snapped up, watching Tyler’s monitor start to pick up in a strange pattern. Josh looked back down at Tyler’s face, he saw, his heart pounding, Tyler’s eyebrows twitch.

“Tyler, come on, just follow my voice, please, please---”

Tyler’s eyebrows twitched again, Josh gripped his hand, talking over and over, asking Tyler to follow his voice. He didn’t notice a crew of nurses standing at the window, hands over their mouths, all looking hopeful, some crying, watching his monitors, waiting for the moment to rush in to welcome Tyler back to this world.

The monitors kept chirping, showing some more activity than the usual in Tyler’s brain and heart. Josh was getting a little louder, nearly hysterical as he told Tyler to come home and follow his voice.

_ Chirp-beep. _ Pause…  _ beep-beep. _ Pause…

“No.. n-no!” Josh yelled, his entire body shaking, he was crying harder than anyone had ever seen him. “D-don’t you dare try to leave!” He held Tyler's hand to his racing heart. “Tyler!”

Pause. _ Beep. _

Pause.  _ Beep. _

Josh sank into the chair, buried his face into the mattress beside Tyler’s leg, never letting go of his friend’s hand as he cried.

He was so close.

The nurses were all crying, some completely losing hope.

They were all so close.

**Author's Note:**

> hello im back, im sadder than ever, and i'm here to share my depression with all of you.
> 
> this was to get me back into the writing headspace.  
> who knew it'd take such a goddamn dark turn
> 
> could be a part two? who knows. I may just leave you sad forever.


End file.
